Do You Have a Dream?
Today’s the anniversary of Martin Luther King’s famous speech, I Have a Dream, given 50 years ago. We will never forget it. But how many of us have dreams? In listening to an audio book about successful relationships, I noted that one of the criteria for success is common values and goals. And the author stated that so many relationships fail because infatuation surpasses common values and goals. Infatuation by its very nature cannot last, because it is so self-centered. Though I may do anything and everything for you, it is so you will not remove your presence from me. Infatuation is all about “Me.” But is it the best “Me” that I can become? Or the “Me” that I think you want to see? Shared goals and dreams can help you help each other. That is the essence of love—putting the other first.
Do you suppress your dreams to seem more attractive to another? For instance if the most important thing to me is to be a Persian cat breeder, I will probably look for someone who already owns a farm. But if an interesting apartment dweller comes along, I may not mention my dream to avoid being branded the crazy cat lady.
Dreams and goals can be shared. Before committing to a relationship, you may want to have some serious discussions about your values and where those values can be expressed in your dreams and goals. A couple can grow a garden to benefit the poor or elderly, for example, or serve in a soup kitchen for the homeless. If you want to be around upwardly mobile and successful people, you may not be interested in someone with the charitable goals. I have a dream. And it is to be my best self and help or allow you to be yours.